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Burrito maker declares war on war
Hall will run for president on a platform of peace and disarmament.

By Brian Siegfried

When Jackson resident John R. Hall is president, the White House will be converted into a homeless shelter and the country will be run from a townhouse in Rafter J.

Hall, 54, announced Friday that he intends to campaign for the nation's highest office in 2004, though he is emboldened, for now, with little more than a platform of peace and disarmament and a toll-free number for an unknown government agency he intends to call for more information. It's not easy running for president when you have a business to keep afloat.

"It's something I don't really have time for, I have to cook burritos," said Hall, co-owner of Down on Glen, a sandwich shop on Glenwood Street.

But Hall is "dead serious" about his campaign and knows exactly what he would like to accomplish as the world's most powerful man.

"Elect me your president, and I promise to do whatever it takes to make the world a safe place for children of all nations, religions and colors," Hall wrote in a statement. Eventually, he will orchestrate the launching of all nuclear weapons "into space at some star that's exploding anyway ... leaving Earth a whole lot closer to the Eden it really is."

Hall calls himself a "peacenik" who does not "subscribe to the inevitable doomsday dogma." So when Hall heard on the radio earlier this month the Bush administration announcement that it reserved the right to use atomic weapons in response to any attack, Hall went, well, nuclear.

"I was ready to snap anyway, but that's what did it," Hall said. "Hearing the words of hate coming out of our national leaders, striking fear into the hearts of their citizenry to not even talk about what's going wrong. That's so wrong."

Undeterred by his lack of capital, party affiliation, name recognition or, by his own admission, a full understanding of the events that have shaped the world, Hall offers a comprehensive platform and has sketched out the agenda of his administration.

First, Hall intends to craft an International Bill of Rights and redraw political boundaries creating "A world made up of nation states, each with its own identity and form of internal government, but each country a state in the world-nation," he wrote in a press release. Each country would have two senators and "representatives in numbers based upon population." This "United Nations of Earth" would then become "the last vestige of war, and would police the governments of the world for violations of inalienable rights."

Though Hall refrained from using the names of President George Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney, it is clear his agenda has been motivated by, and stands in stark contrast to, "the henchman of the petro-chemical industry."

"I hate to point any oily fingers, but the boys in power ... should resign because of conflicts of interest," Hall wrote. "We can create peace on earth for the first time ever, or we can let our current foreign policy complete its job of ripping asunder our last chance at a world we can all share."

This is not Hall's first attempt to put the brakes on what he considers an atrocity of the U.S. Government. In 1969, he dodged the Vietnam War draft. In 1970 he again refused to report for service after "trying everything," including applying for conscientious objector status, but was arrested, fingerprinted and handed a criminal record.

"I'm not ashamed of it," Hall said. "It was a very instrumental arm in putting an end to the Vietnam War."

His role as what he called a "passive objector" provided Hall with an example of how the smallest voice can bring about global change.

"If the words of truth catch the right breeze and go into the right ears ...," Hall said.

Should Hall find his way onto the ballot, or be forced to mount a write-in campaign, he says he already has a "bucketful of votes" lined up for the 2004 election. One of them has been promised by Safa Darwiche, wife of Teton County Commissioner-elect Jim Darwiche.

"I'm for someone who has that much courage, who says 'I am running for president,'" Darwiche said. "He is a fabulous man, he is a hard-working man and he is one of the many gifted people in this community."

Though Hall's intensity still burns ferociously ­ "my campaign is about actually becoming president," he said emphatically ­ and he has yet to consider the problematical minutia of running for president, he did admit he may be willing to settle for something less than an electoral majority.

"Maybe, if I can carry the vice president's home county, my voice will be heard," Hall said.

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