Skinny dippers arrested: Officers were patrolling at 3 a.m. Saturday when they caught a glimpse of a naked man running across the Jackson Hole Lodge parking lot. “The naked man jumped into the pool with two naked females,” Jackson police Lt. Roger Schultz said. When officers approached, the man took off again and the two women locked themselves in the pool area restroom. Police chased the 23-year-old man, who took off running (wet and naked) away from the hotel. The women, both 24 and from Wilson, came out of the restroom and apologized. All three were arrested on charges of trespassing and interference.
Masturbating while driving: A woman was about to go grocery shopping around noon Saturday when she saw someone “going to town” on himself in his car. Police located the man, who admitted he had been masturbating and driving. “I’m not sure if that falls under a violation of our hands-free ordinance,” Schultz said. The man said he only had his penis out for a minute before he realized people could see him so he put it away and drove off. “He apologized and said it was a stupid thing to do,” Schultz said. “He said he’d been under a lot of stress and masturbating was a good way to relieve the stress.” The 41-year-old Jackson man was cited for public indecency.
Building bridges: A property owner called police because he said a neighbor had built a ladder that allowed people to cross his fence and cut through his property, likely as a shortcut to the bus stop. Police removed the bridge and left a note for the trespassers.
Plant thief: Police responded to a report that a woman had stolen $1,000 worth of plants. Employees said she just walked out with them. The woman claimed it was a misunderstanding and paid for the plants.
Stolen threads: A woman was caught stealing a shirt and $44 blue-and-white pants from a downtown clothing store. Employees confronted her about it, and she said something about having a gun in her purse, so they called police. The woman confessed to stealing the clothes, and police confiscated them as evidence. She was cited for shoplifting.
Missing truck: A man who lives on East Kelly Avenue had his truck stolen, police said. It’s a red Chevrolet Avalanche with Teton County plate 7050.
Beer goggles: A man who had a little too much fun at Sunday’s concert on the Town Square passed out near an antler arch. As officers arrived to check on him he threw up, they said. He was arrested on a charge of public intoxication.
Ten drinks later: At 3 a.m. Monday police saw a man passed out and slumped over in a car. They tried for several minutes to wake him, and when he didn’t respond they called an ambulance. The man then woke up and fell down as he tried to exit his car. His pants were unzipped, and he had urinated on himself, police said. When the officers attempted to take his breath sample at Teton County Jail, he said, “I ain’t blowing on s--t. You can blow me.” The 25-year-old Missouri man was arrested and charged with DUI.